a brother with a complex

have you ever met it

the obstacle that stands tall in front of you but is invisible

have you ever tried to ignore it, like a call from an unrecognizable number

then eventually realized that your only blocking your calling

people always say life is like a movie

somethin between disney and them rated r flicks

somethin between a luv story or a mind altering documentary

well if i told the story

from the directors cut

id make sure to send a message of power

conveying that the thing that has many constantly sustaining cuts and bruises

the thing that always stops the progression of a movements

a lifestyle of emptiness

no fuel to burn ur passionate fires

fluctuating faith and a life of unfulfilled desires

is fear

I wish that I could lie
say my heart didn't beat faster when you were around
That our hands never touched
That seeing you wasn't more than enough
To make my previously empty soul feel saturated
With happiness
Like my stomach wasn't in need of food.. u were more than eye candy.. ur auora nourished me. made me full
of words attached to children on the night before Christmas
your presence was God's gift to me
Him blessing me with Godly love meant a lot to me
I wish I never got excited when your name popped up on ur phone
Never bolted to another room
In need of privacy because I was involved with something so sacred
I wish we never hugged like we used to
Remember I used to press ur heart against my chest, holding onto your soft hair
whispering in your ear
if you felt the throbs of love my heart sent
Even as a writer it was you that made me believe that actions speak louder than words
Because when actions didn't miror words
I couldn't help but feel the opposite of that four letter words

O M G

sorry.. i've kind have been 'overposting' recently.. right now im in the lib.. tryin to bang out my first profile piece.. and i was just tryin to find somethin to listen to on youtube.. so obv.. i searched drake.. and i just clicked on this track... i mean.... the dude is just.. idk.. he just doesn't make bad music... he's just on some other stuff.. i literally was cheesin after the first verse.. i had to put down my headphones and walk around the library.. just to get my body warm cuz dude was just too cold... but everytime i sai i'm feelin someone everyone else gotta be like "y u on his jock." u can't even like another dude's music without bein dissed or called somethin that i'd have to PAUSE. lol.. aiight here's the track.. judge for urself..btw jazziye fizzle i see ur comments! i never kno how to respond cuz their so.... jazmin... i do wanna sai thnx for the luv... and im glad u can relate with the poems (this is my polite wai of saying STOP TRYNA TAKE CREDIT FOR MY WISE WORDS! j/k.) back to drizzy tho

in progress: what i've learned

i learned that drunken girls get exploited by overeager guys and in the aftermath try to hide that they were victimized
its always hard to look through a victims eyes, and harder for them to let pride subside
so they mask pain, find comfort within lies, espouse laughter find terror within cries
embedded in their psyche is that their feelins don't matter so their shortage of self appreciation is only a natural disaster
i learned that most college girls are tryna find themselves, but look for men to determine their self wealth
so their expedition turns into a search for mr wright
on that wrong plight
They determine that they cant be fine by themselves
i learned that most girls hearts are in relationships with dudes their mind knows they shouldn't have relations with
i learned that most dudes are kids satisfied with doing anything they can get away with,
their conscience needs growth, they have humility just need that tough luv to get them to display it
i learned that most dudes are smarter than woman ever give them credit for, females point out our immaturity to hide their insecurities, to convince themselves they havent settled for grown men they abhor
i learned that sometimes bein distant will render u as different
as haters conspire, fulfill their desire to make others seem inferior
Its merely to compensate for shallowness, they need something to fill their interior
and though its hard not to reproach, i adopted the approach to still show love, breakin the barrier

side bar
people say you hate the one's you love. i fear that most love those who they should hate. Their relationships are technically flawed, trying to establish a relation with hatred. disregarding the ugly truth, that they are looking for the beauty that relationships exemplify, in someone they abhor. but their eyes are blind, because thats how love is. so in an attempt to feel out, feel loved and feel comforted, they feel pain. desperately searchin for solid ground, but remain dwelling in a place uncertainty, slipping and losing their desire to get back up on their OWN two feet.... must be black ice, or a silver lining that they choose to consistently ignore.