Mine Matters

some say its mind over matter,
i used to think that mine didn't matter,
now i question what was the matter with my mind,
patience i couldn't find
and with so many matters on my mind,
ppl asked what was the matter all the time.
my mind got consumed
by insecurities and the sickness of self depreciation to which i thought i was immune
and my body got worried bout fate
the fact he it didn't know where it was headin kinda kept it awake
meantime the soul is getting frantic
disliked my wavering faith and had enough of the self hate antics

Guess who

You ever wonder why

Or question God's mind

cuz the pain inside

from bein on the outside

feels like it will never subside

he said that his works are beyond all understanding

but that doesn't work for us

we're suppose to serve him but treat the Almighty One as if he works for us
even worse, not humbled by his blessings,
doubting and always testing, trespasses we're never confessing.
why mimic the relationship he tries to establish
why turn ur back on change when all ur soul wants to do is grab it

Hate that those who've never experienced luv, openly reject their chance to have it

but I don't really know whats stranger

that i always feel endangered

or that the reflection that glares at me in the mirror is a total stranger

or that i can't stand what im turnin into

or why i feel like i never have someone to turn to
dialed in on life, i forget to call on God
some might fear a bad reception
but December 25 dismisses that very question.

prisoner of my own mind tryna escape imprisonment

yearnin to be free I'm askin for deliverance
I'm ready to change, ready to rid insecurity
ready to leave Satan, ready to search for purity
ready to leave dejection, ready to not deflect
ready to look Jesus in the eyes and tell him i accept
I'm ready to heal, and know it won't be easy, know their will be bumps in the road, so I guess i'm ready to fail.
Ready to look failure in the eyes and greet it with determination, let the hater know I'll be ready to rise
And i'm not much of a fighter, but I know there's a part of me that has to really go so i guess I'm ready to kill.
see i'm devoted to change, and leavin behind a lifestyle and life time bonds, i guess i'll be devoted to pain....