As a journalism student about to embark on my senor year at the University of Massachusetts,I feel its only right to ne a bit reflective on my college experience. As a freshman I entered the vast campus as an undeclared student with equally prodigous aspirations, incapable of being told that my goal to fix all the problems in the world was a bit far fetched. My two loving parents
uttered words that many others in their position would, urging mme to stay grounded, relating the fact that a secure future is something that you want to bank on.
I swear I wasn't trying to be rebellious when I chose journalism as my career path.
My three years at Umass has been an invaluable experience, as I have been able to pick the minds, and delve into the bank of knowledge of some of the finest journalism mines the school has to offer. The process has been eye opening, as it has introduced me to a world, that is emerging and subletting at the same time. One that remains unbounded with no glass ceiling, one that satisfies my desires to utilize the skills that the university has equipped me with and
accomplish something illustrious. This summer of 2009, I became a member of the Media Giraffe Project, in attempt to help in their effort to shed light on those creating a better tommorow for others. Being able to profile others who made such innovative ideas come to fruition for the sake of democracy is full of worth.

ive got an idea

I am really excited that I have caught a breeze of inspiration to start writing again. It has been quite awhile, and even though my last post was quite random, I think it sparked something. For some time I have been really discouraged about writing my story about my sister. The words don't come out right, and its been a struggle between my soul and my brain. I want to write it so bad, and feel like the more time that passes, the more inaccurate my account of everything that happened is going to be. At the same time it just doesn't feel right to write about it when my thoughts aren't racing to come out while I punch the keys. So I have been at a stand still with that.

Due to this form of what you could call "writer's block," I have been deliberating on trying to write something fiction. I have never really written in this genre before and find it very intimidating. I am not sure if I have the imagination to come up with a whole story on my own. Plus I want it to be good, so that adds a whole other layer to dig through. It just seems like a smart thing to try out. So whenever I am pondering, which is usually while I am in bed, or in the middle of doing something, I think of ideas to write about. Tonight while I was laying in bed, pouting over the fact that I was ditched in a way from a dinner date, and watching tv, an idea randomly popped into my head.

A book. That is my idea. To write about being a book. I mean, it sounds kind of lame. But think about it. Being a book is almost like being a fly on a wall or invisible. It connects with the person while they read the story. We are almost conversing with the book while we read it. We are talking inside of our heads, and reacting to the words the book says. I catch myself laughing out loud while reading all the time as if the book made a joke. And crying too, as if it broke my heart. I think watching a person while they read says a lot about who they are. So I want to write a story through the metaphorical eyes of a book. I am actually really excited about the idea, because it is stirring so many thoughts in my head! It could actually be really good.

Now all I gotta do, is start..... oye

MS

a new start

Today is a new start to the rest of the year for me. Seems weird since it is the middle of July, but school is just a month away, and a huge change is in the process. Tony, the love of my life, officially moved out of my apartment last night. It felt so lonely and weird after we said goodbye. It could have been the meds I am taking for this asthma-related illness I have that was intensifying the reality of the situation, but I was alone again.

We decided to give our relationship to God. That was the way we put it, instead of saying we are simply breaking up. Maybe that is the problem. I don't know what to think about it. I am single, but still committed to one person. Is he? I am not sure. We said we are going to work on our relationship, start over and build it back up. But what if he decides he likes his freedom being single? We may never come back together.

I know I am thinking too hard about this. I am not good adapting to new situations, especially when it means I am alone again. It is not all bad though, this whole independence thing coming back. I have realized that I need to refocus my life. My world revolved around him. But now it has to be all about me. I need to hang out with my friends more. Make more friends too. I need to focus on my Senior year in college, and look forward to a career. I need to refocus my faith. No it did not take a back seat or get weakened by my relationship. I feel like I hindered it from growing even stronger.

So once I get physically healthy again, I am going to work on getting emotionally, mentally, and socially healthy again. I need that superwoman power I once had back. And maybe when that is complete, my love will come back to me.

MS

Shist
I just saw cupid shoot his arrow
its heading in my direction and i dont know what to do
who openly accepts getting speared
with no armor to protect
the only thing that keeps you going
i must runaway
or is that an aimless plight like a runaway's
can't avoid the inevitable
so why delay, dismay my soul
guess ill take it like a man
and watch luv unfold