Thirsty

"The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated." William James

I was looking online for quotes on appreciation, since my words are lost in the lack there of, and I stumbled on many which were relevant to my present state. However, the one that was so simple and quite abrasive was by William James. At first I wasn't convinced with the concrete statement that it is, without question, the deepest principle. I decided to look up who Mr. James was to see what kind of man would be bold enough to say this with such authority. I was immediately drawn to ponder this idea more thoroughly when I learned that William James is one of the earlier influential psychologists in the field. So he must know what he is talking about!

Even though I have never heard or read of James in my undergraduate psychology major career, I knew he must have been in love to come to this conclusion. He studied Pragmatism, which goes to say he needed some kind of mind fogging effect to understand the need to be appreciated, and then quoting it as the deepest principle of human nature. Love is the ultimate form of appreciation. When you say 'I love you,' it is saying more than just you mean so much to me. It is saying I am grateful you are in my life. It is a intimate way of saying 'thank you.' Thank you for everything you do and everything you are. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for changing my life.

I may seem out of bounds to a lot of folk, but I am sure James would understand completely. He understands that when you love someone, it is genuine, and unforced. It is not like an Indian Giver who shares their greatest treasure with you for a moment, but steals it back once they miss it. Love can't be returned. It can't be exchanged. When it is true, it is permanent. That is why it is never ending, even when it isn't being given back. See people think that love can run out, like when a well runs out of water. But the love isn't represented by the water; it is the well. The strong walls that wrap around the tunnel that runs deep into the ground. The well holds the favors, the special little things, the major I-got-your-back things, the gifts, the tears and grief that come with a broken relationship... Even when all those things run out, the well still remains, even if it is empty.

So what does this have to do with appreciation? Appreciation is the rain that fills the well. It is the fuel to keep the love strong and abundant. It is when that loved one uses their own water to fill your well. Any small favor, any sweet lil nothing in the ear, a small kiss on the forehead; they are all appreciation, little 'I love you's' to let you know that you matter. And those can't be forced either. So I guess my main dilemma, bringing this all up, is what happens when the rain stops falling? The love is still there, but its dry and arid. How does the person who drinks from the well survive?

MS